A woman, a mother of children from such relationships,
faces immense stress, uncertainty, fear for her children. Instead of enjoying
pleasant moments when the children return home, she often has to emotionally
piece together scattered children for several days. When she calms down, she
has to go back to the father, as decided by the court. The court may impose
fines, parenting measures, and ultimately take away the children and entrust
them to a father they fear and do not want to be with.
How to help a woman handle this entire situation?
A woman in this situation often faces unpleasant remarks
from those around her. In today's world, we still encounter harsh judgment of
women raising children alone. If children have behavioral problems due to the
stress caused by a toxic father, the blame is placed on the mother. If a mother
confides that she is exhausted, sometimes there is a lack of understanding and
blame that she chose it herself.
Such a mother doesn't need wise advice from others or
accusations about their father. What she needs is encouragement, acceptance,
hope that she is not alone in everything. Sometimes a little help with shopping
when she's at home with sick children or when she needs to go to the doctor
alone is often the biggest help. She can financially take care of herself and
her children.
Sometimes these women need to hear that they are good
enough mothers and that they can handle it. They need to hear that they are not
alone and that there is someone for them who will listen, encourage, and help.
Children also need encouragement, support, and a sense of security. In order
for a mother to provide all of this, she needs to feel a sense of security and
hope herself, that they can handle it. Together, as a family. Because a mother
with children is also a family.
Please,
let's not look at single mothers as inferior. They are mothers who had to build
a new world for their children from the ruins of their own broken lives. So
let's show them respect, because they face challenges and problems that women
in functioning relationships can't even imagine.
And what about the children?
To emerge from the toxic influence of an aggressive and
manipulative father with minimal damage to the soul, it is important to respect
them, even when they don't behave as they should sometimes. These children need
more patience, acceptance, and firmer boundaries than children from harmonious
families. Despite the chaos they experience, they need to feel loved. They are
not bad; they just have a much more complicated life than their peers from
well-organized families.
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