The partnerships are going through better and worse periods. The partners have crisis, quarrels and disagreements appear beteen each other. It's enough for two. But what if someone third get into the relationship? Cheating. The big scarecrow of every relationship. For a long time, it is not only about secret meetings in hotels or conditions at work. New times and technologies bring incredible opportunities, even in relationships. How are our relationships changing with the advent of digital technologies?
What does the cheating mean to you? Emotional bond, kissing or sex? There is no single definition and people do not agree at all. Everyone has a border somewhere else. But what is very similar are the feelings experienced by cheating partners. Men appear anger, aggression, and suffer from male pride and ego. Women in addition to anger, appear also pain and depression. Cheating always breaks a relationship, especially the trust to each other.
Why are the partners cheating each other "online"?
From where is comming the desire to make virtual relationships and flirts? Why do the people prefer this way?The reason is three A - Anonymity, Accessibility and Availability.
The internet environment gives you the feelings that no one can find it out, that everything is under the control and the absence of physical contact gives the impression that it is not really real. The constant availability plays a big role - flirting can take place from anywhere and at any time. There is always someone in the virtual world who is looking for something similar.
What all can be considered to online cheating?
It depends a lot on how you set it up in your relationship and where you have the boundaries. It can be for example sending tittilation messages, erotic or flirty content, browsing dating sites and activity on that profile. Some people include also looking pornography among the cyber-cheating. Then it can be also masturbation via webcam together with a virtual partner...But not always the contact has an erotic or sexual context. Does the messaging considere to cheating? Well, it can be. It often happens that one of the partners secretly texts with someone else. It is not about sending erotic messages, but simply sharing everyday experiences and feelings. There is not a desire for sexual discharge. But there is arised strong emotional relationship. The warning signal is if the partner conceals this correspondence or if devotes more time to it at the expense of his real partner.
GlossarySexting: it
is sharing sexual and erotic materials (text messages, photos, videos)
through the modern communication technologies, such as: email, SMS, MMS and
various chat platforms. Cybersex:
different forms of sexual expression via PC, internet or virtual reality
Cyberflirt:
flirting via internet, can aim to find a new partner, but it can also serve
to entertain, distract and increase self-confidence. Cyber-affair: We could say
it also as an online affair. It is about
establishing an intimate relationship via the internet. It can create a
strong emotional bond. Often the
partner devotes more time to his virtual relationship than to the real one. |
I think, I am unfaithful
Maybe you have realized during reading this article, that you actually have something like an online relationship. Maybe you didn't think about it a lot before but now you started to feel strange. Of course, chatting and texting with someone is not cheating. In this time, all of us we are online and we have the opportunity to communicate with friends, colleagues and meet new people. It's okay if you use it. But if you have strange and unpleasant feelings about your online writing, if you hide it from your partner or if you look forward to moments in the online world more than those with your partner, it can be a problem.What to do now?
- Try to answer
yourself, what your online relationship
means to you.
- If your online
activities threaten your real relationship, you will have then a relatively
difficult task. You will need to clarify
your priorities.
- Try to talk to your partner about your
feelings.
- If you cannot
express your feelings, you can try to look
for some advice of a psychologist.
The partner has a virtual relationship!
If you have only the suspicions - it depends on you whether you
open this topic with your partner or whether you manage to live in uncertainty.
But we definitely recommend a direct conversation instead of checking the partner's phone secretely. It can still be
a false alarm and the whole situation could turn against you by violation the
partner's privacy.
If your partner confesses the infidelity, you will have to decide whether you
are willing to overcome its decline over time and perhaps even forgive it, or
whether it means a definitive end for you.
We want to save the relationship..... But how?
- Make new rules. Do not go to text the messages to other room. Answer the
calls in front of each other. For sure, it is not about to controll everyday
your partner's phone. It's more about to show that you don't hide anything to
each other.
- If you decided
to make a thick line behind the cheating, do not use your partner infidelity
like an argument during the quarrel.
- If you
have a problem with making new trust, try couple counseling.
Below, you can see profiles of psychologists who specialize in this topic and are ready to help you.
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