Domestic violence can take many forms. Some we can recognize at a
glance, others we would have to search for a little longer. It should also be
said that most of the time it is not just one type of domestic violence, but
very often a combination of both. Economic violence is one of those forms that
is difficult to distinguish because it does not leave a physical mark on the
victim.
You're just not going to work
I never thought that I
would be a victim of domestic violence and at first there was no indication
that I would be. But then I wanted to start working after maternity leave. My
partner and I were in agreement and he had no problem with it. But then it came
to shove. At first there were minor arguments, he wanted me to stay home with
the baby and practically told me that the baby would be poor if I went to work.
The situation escalated to the point where he banned me from going to work. And
of course I was convinced.
One
of the signs of economic violence is not being allowed to go to work. The
aggressor goes about things very carefully, trying to comfort and persuade the
victim. However, it gradually hardens and moves to greater and greater
manipulation. It is not rare, that he also uses children for blackmail. Most
often, this situation occurs after a woman is due to start work again after
maternity leave. But it doesn't have to
be the rule.
Control and control
Unfortunately, it didn't
end with the ban on going to work. Not only did my partner demand that I be
home almost all the time, but he also started controlling everything I spent
money on. Since my maternity allowance was not enough to cover all my needs, he
had to provide part of the money. However, its contribution gradually thinned
to a bare minimum, which was only enough for the needs of the little one. He
also required me to provide receipts for all purchases. And when I bought
something extra for myself with the money my mother gave me, there was an
immediate problem.
Controlling
all expenses and not providing money to run the household is another sign that
you are being plagued by an economic aggressor. The situation is again becoming
very creeping. Your partner subtly asks you how much you spent where and on
what. They may offer to set up a joint account, but later restrict your access
to it. If he or she is the one providing the bulk of the household finances, he
or she will either start making the purchases himself or herself or send you
only a specified amount. Eventually you start to find that there are no funds
left for your needs, and if you find some external income (like in the story
above, money from your mother), you get into another argument. It may also
happen that you don't buy everything that your partner imagined, then you will
probably receive abuse and humiliation.
How can you get out of this?
If
perhaps you have found yourself in this article and the stories we are
presenting, it is time to start working with the situation. Victims of domestic
violence can turn to a number of counselling centres. The first option is of
course the Safety Line on 116 111.
If
you prefer face-to-face communication, but do not have the space and time to
travel to a personal consultation, you can use our online counselling service.
Mojra.cz, an online psychological counselling service, uses the internet to
help people who require urgent psychological counselling. This modern
convenience allows us to communicate with clients throughout the Czech Republic
and abroad via Skype, WhatsApp and Viber.
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